It is better to give than to receive. We hear this often – and it is true.
In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35
The Lord has been speaking to me since the beginning of the year about giving and receiving – telling me, “You have learned to love well, now learn to be loved well.” This leads me to believe we take this verse to an extreme, completely forsaking the “receive” part of the words. Truly, it is more blessed to give…. But I also believe it is harder to receive than it is to give.
Consider – what is your first response when a friend or family member grabs the check at a restaurant and says, “I got this.” My first response is usually, “you don’t have to do that.” How many times have you seen the check laid on the table and several men grab for it, intending to pay for everyone, and arguing over who will pay? What is your first response when a friend gives you a surprise gift on no special occasion? Think about it. Does your mind’s eye see your initial reaction? I think it is sometimes a matter of pride, while other times – we just do not feel worthy or deserving (though we would be hard-pressed to see or acknowledge this without a lot of soul searching).
I speak for myself when I say we are terrible at receiving while being stellar at giving. I want to pay my own way. I do not want others to think I cannot afford things. I do not want others to know I struggle with certain skills. I want others to think I am strong and independent.
Never is this difficulty and reluctance in receiving more evident than when we talk about Grace – God’s grace and unconditional love. But consider this: when we doubt grace, when we deny His love, or when we think works will affect the grace we have been given – we are saying, in effect, “No, Jesus, no way are you paying for me.”
That is our stumbling block, not Jesus’ – for He has already paid our full debt and justified our admission.
What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you did not? 1 Corinthians 4:7
The practical application of this is that we cannot give what we have not received.
Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Matthew 10:8
Notice, Matthew first mentions that we have received! God gave to us first. And only that which He gave us can we then freely give.
So, I will continue along this journey of learning to receive well: love, grace, mercy, kindness, patience, etc. I will not receive because something I did makes me deserving (though Jesus has made me worthy), but because another wants to bless me with their love – and because I am lovable. After all, didn’t God send Jesus to die for me just because He loves me? And when I have learned – truly learned – to receive His Grace, then perhaps, I can truly give always and only from love.